Are you really present when you think you are?

You can feel fully present. You listen to a conversation, you answer when someone speaks to you, you take part in a meeting. And yet your attention may have wandered off several times without you really noticing.

The point of this exercise isn't to change your behaviour. It's to see what's actually going on.

Try it

After a conversation, a meal or a meeting, simply take a few minutes to mentally replay the moment that just ended.

Ask yourself :

• How many times did my attention drift elsewhere?

• Did I look at my phone? If so, why?

• Do I really remember what the other person told me?

• At what point did I stop being fully engaged in the conversation?

Then flip the perspective:

« If someone had been watching this interaction, would they have said I was fully present? »

What the mirror can reveal

You may find that your phone gets in the way far less than you thought.

Or, on the contrary, that a few very brief glances were enough to break up a moment you felt you were fully living.

You may also notice that your attention drifts even without your phone: to an email you need to answer, an upcoming task or another conversation.

Being present isn't just about not looking at your screen. It's also about knowing where your attention really is.

Key takeaway

We don't always notice the small shifts in our attention. Looking back on an interaction can sometimes reveal a gap between the presence we feel and the presence we actually give.

And the mirror works both ways: it can also help you better understand how it feels when someone else's attention is elsewhere.